[	Tags	|	i srsly hate you gabrielle union, ihu gabrielle union, memes, racist!!!, y do i have 19 songs & kylie's got 10983	]
[	couer	|	i'm gonna vomit	]
[	musique	|	Drei Sind Zwei Zuviel by Fettes Brot	]

From pygmalism:

Do you trust my taste in music? Pick a number between 1 and 916 and I'll find the corresponding song in my playlist. I'll upload it for you (and everyone else reading this entry) to grab. [Optional: when you've gotten a song from me, go post this meme in your own journal, so I can grab a random song from you.]

http://www.neoned.com/
omfg. omfg. omfg. This... I can't even describe what it feels like to see your entire life in movie-format. THANK YOU GABRIELLE UNION FOR HAVING THE COURAGE TO PORTRAY PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME AND GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL, GIRL.

Can this translate into icon format?

Edit:

[	Tags	|	fettes brot, i should get a new account, i'm gonna kill everyone at bcc, i’m beautiful inside and out, o’grady-o rly, whatever or however you want it, what’d I miss?, where in the hell is my chiffon?!, womyn hold thy tongue	]
[	couer	|	predatory	]
[	musique	|	Striptease by Hawksley Workman - ZOMG THANKS EVA, BABY!	]

I've gone about three months or something without updating which is enough to get kicked of a couple people's friends’ list. I apologize for that. I still don't have anything of importance to tell the internets, so I'll just subject you to a load of various junk for entertainment purposes.

First, I’d like to thank Eva eat_your_cancer  for the CD. It was kind of truly, lolling-ly great and I could read 98.2% of your handwriting; it’s not that bad! Which reminds me, I wonder if my partner for the funiculus's gift trade ever got her gift? I don't know what happened to that!

Oh man, this was a tad awesome. The only thing I’m sad about is that she completely missed the point of why I’m using her icon and thinks I only did it to be “hip, edgy, and LOL NEGRO”. I was merely pointing out that she brought the “LOL NEGRO” bit on herself by creating the icon in the first place.

Granted, when I take icons I usually give credit unless I somehow misplace the name of the person I took it from, but this icon was just too stupid on so many levels to resist. All I wanted to do was to bring the joy I got from rofling at it to the masses and I don't think she wants credit for an icon which will cause people to laugh at with her. Which leads us to our first New Year's resolution: STOP BEING AN AMORAL, POLITICALLY INCORRECT, DRAMA-STARING TROLLING ASSHOLE ON THE INTERNETS EVEN WHEN YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE ASKING FOR IT BY BEING STUPID.

( For every Sigur Rós fan: )

( Oh mah lawd. )

A new community. fettes_brot It's going to fall flat upon its rosy arse because only three people on my flist speak German (not including myself) and only two of you know who Fettes Brot are. Oh well.

( My highlights of 2005: )

Good. I should really learn to tell people how I feel and start being honest about my feelings. That will be my New Year’s Resolution #2, and I’ll attempt it right now:

I have a mild headache and I don't want to live anymore OKAY. ^_^

[	Tags	|	livejournal is a fgt	]
[	couer	|	The usual	]
[	musique	|	What's On Your Mind by Sine	]

http://www.livejournal.com/users/crucio/216459.html?thread=3876235#t3876235

This is one of the rare instances where I don't feel like talking. Tell it to me there.

Also, why is it that I'm not getting any comments mailed to my email? I mean, my LJ experience is greatly diminished WHEN I CAN'T RESPOND TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE RESPONDED TO ME. Just saying.

Furthermore, I am in love with this girl. Absolutely smitten; bordering on obsessed. I hate how they refer to her as "The Ukrainian Dog Girl", though. In any case, she's fantastically awesome. I want nothing more in life than to meet her. Oh my god.

[	Tags	|	feel free to punch me in the throat, i don't like it when i "sound rationale", i've sinned and joined a rating comm., sux 2 b u, this entry sucks	]
[	couer	|	Fascism vs. Communism? Clever.	]
[	musique	|	Je Veux Ton Amour by Section 25	]

This journal is now Friends Only.

Just jiving. That banner's pretty fantastically retarded, but Harris/Klebold OTP 4 lyfe. Oh man, I swear I had a notebook dedicated to them when I was ten. I should go search for it.

Rearranged my interests, lolz. The Internets is my business and business is good. No need for hobbies when you have it.

( I really didn't want to have to cut this but the awesomeness of it might be too much for some. )

I'm at a loss. I don't understand Australia. I mean, what's the stereotypes that follow that country? For example, in England people eat fish and chips and go "Awlwright mate, OI OI OI?" and in America we're fat and stupid yet we reign supreme over the entire world and in Canada we play hockey and go "eh?" and then drink beer and in Australia they have no concept of rap and all the guys are wigging it out wigger style and making out with each other? I just don't understand. I mean, it's either this or Australians are a bunch of kangaroos who take acid all day and eat falafel. I want someone to explain to me the concept of Australia. More importantly, I want to know why I'm trying to figure out Australia's entire existence from a sort of brilliant STD Public Service Announcement. Furthermore, kitmarlowe just pointed out to me that it's a commercial from New Zealand, not Australia. Suddenly it makes a lot more sense.

( How great is this? )

In any case, I have to find a torrent for an English version of Un Été Pour Tout Vivre and finish watching Borstal Boy soon.

[	Tags	|	i hate my father, i really hate my father, i really really hate my father, my dad loves gay sex	]
[	couer	|	annoyed	]
[	musique	|	Groove by Slowblow	]

You know something?

My father's going to end up being cleaved in half by a 2 x 4. I mean it.

The guy sits on his fat ass all day farting non-stop and hogging up the 3623853 inch TV (the cost of which could have paid for my housing for Pratt in NY) watching gay/lesbian/ porn in front of me. Sometimes, he'll watch the occasional explicit straight sex scene but for the most part it's as if he ACTIVELY seeks out every single GLBT-oriented program on cable and flips to it. TransGeneration, True Life: I'm Gay and I'm Getting Married, some soft porn lesbian movie, etc. I'll come home from classes and he'll be watching Forbidden Lesbian Love Stories on Logo. Matter of fact he mostly focuses on boxing, baseball and Logo. Unless The L Word is on, then he'll watch that. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

So I keep hoping that he'll flip to Logo one day and there will be some hardcore gay sex scene on. One so intense that it'll make him go blind. And surely enough, he's flipping channels and Latter Days comes on Logo. They're at the part of the movie when Christian and Aaron are on the bed rolling about and he FUCKING LINGERS ON THAT CHANNEL WATCHING IT FOR 3 MINUTES! The fucking bastard speeds through 55 channels to linger on two guys fucking each other. Then Before Night Falls is playing on IFC and he pauses to watch that too. The bloody film's in Spanish, so there's no excuse for him to watch it, yet he's sitting there enraptured as if every gay-based TV show or film is the only thing worth watching on cable.

I mean, I don't mind if that's what he wants to watch on his own time, but why is it that he has to watch this shit in front of me? It's awkward, and it seems as if he's doing this to make me uncomfortable. On purpose.

Which leads me to believe that he's either gay or he knows my secret. Either of which pisses me off immensely. I wouldn't be surprised if he read one of my 6000+ other journals and is now trying to broadcast something to me.

Sorry. I usually don't bitch about my family (mostly because I like to pretend I don't have one) BUT GODDAMN IF HE DOESN'T CEASE AND DESIST I'M GONNA STRAIGHT UP STICK MY FIST IN HIS FACE. No lie.

[	Tags	|	cawner oberst's gonna die, hittie-hittie-hitler, i only paint so i can become famous, pimpin' wilde	]
[	couer	|	still sick in the head	]
[	musique	|	How Do You Fuck A Boy (Without A Pussy) by Joey Gray	]

Conor Oberst wishes he could create songs like this: Joey Gray - How Do You Fuck A Boy (Without A Pussy)?

It's a shame he can't because this particular song is basically Conor's entire life story. I may not understand the question the song title is posing, but I'm pretty sure it's still the very essence of Monsiuer Oberst's entire existence.

Wikipedia spawns:
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde
I am so sorry.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Morrissey
I am really sorry.
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/AIDS
You can lynch me now because I laughed really hard at all of those.

Okay, okay, I'll stop being abrasive now.

I was looking up Hitler's art work, and now I'm sort of depressed because the man had skills, yet he couldn't get into an art school. I really should have chosen to major in English. No, no, just think of Graham Coxon. Yeah. As of this moment my list of favourite artists is as follows: Graham Coxon, Hitler, Basquiat, Dali and I'll always hold a soft spot in my heart for Monet. The former three are my inspiration to keep on painting. Someday I'll be lucky enough to follow in their footsteps and take over 88% of Europe, make out with Damon Albarn and release a few albums, and die of a heroin overdose by the age of 27.

Here's hoping.

P.S. YO hallows , plz don't tell me I missed your birfday, k? Plz don't.

CLIFF JONES! Oh Sweet Jesus.

"THERE'S A LOT TO BE SAID FOR THE SENSATION OF COMING IN YOUR OWN MOUTH." - Cliff "Jesus" Jones

I ought to upload Shoot Freak here but I'm sick, there's math homework involving equations such as (√wtf + omg/stfu)^2 ÷ (this makes no sense^3 - √rofl), and a tad bit lazy.

[	Tags	|	fuck my bosses, katastrophe, katastrophe!, taking 675+ years to get an entry right	]
[	couer	|	I (h)ate LiveJournal.	]
[	musique	|	Warning by Notorious B.I.G.	]

I'm memming because lj user = PIG!malism tagged me for this:

( Six Song Meme ) 1. Katastrophe - Written In Flames
2. Katastrophe - Bricks
3. Katastrophe - Diamonds
4. DV Roxx - Hardcore Mutha Fucka
5. Scream Club f/ Katastrophe and Mirah - Dead Wrong [If you're going to suck cock at life and not download anything from this list at least download this.]
6. Katastrophe - Enough Man

( Obsession # 456679 ) No, seriously. Get in on this. Katastrophe, okay?

The Actual Non-Katastrophe Dominated List
1. Amanda Lepore and Cazwell - My Hair Looks Fierce [Amanda may not know much about clothes seeing as she hardly wears any, but GODDAMN HER HAIR LOOKS FIERCE. Believe this.]
2. Joy Electric - You're Material
3. Lemon Jelly - In The Bath
4. 90 Day Men - Hey, Citronella!
5. [DV Roxx still stands]
6. Damon Albarn and Michael Nyman - Let's Go Kill That Bastard

[	Tags	|	ilu valerie solonas, marry me ann coulter, women = serious bizness	]
[	couer	|	more like in love	]
[	musique	|	Anon by Capitol K	]

You guys let me miss out on all the good things in life. Seriously. Why hasn't any told me about Ann Coulter? There have been sparse mentions of her on livejournals, but no one's bothered to give me an in-depth analysis of her prolific comedy career. I'd like to marry her, she's absolutely delightful!

Ann Coulter-isms:
"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building." -from a fellow Timothy McVeigh lover

"How many people have to die before the country stops humoring feminists? Last week, a defendant in a rape case, Brian Nichols, wrested a gun from a female deputy in an Atlanta courthouse and went on a murderous rampage. Liberals have proffered every possible explanation for this breakdown in security except the giant elephant in the room -- who undoubtedly has an eating disorder and would appreciate a little support vis-a-vis her negative body image." - Ann "adlajhdklajdklajdakldjakldajlkd A++++ would read again and again" Coulter

"Clinton is in love with the erect penis." -Jesus aka Ann Coulter

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism." -Ann "I IZ A PROPHET OF MUSSOLINI" Coulter

Basically, this woman is me. Or I would be her if I ever let my whimsical nature get out of hand and allow it to take over my intelligence. God bless her. She makes me so happy. I'm going to make an icon and a matching journal layout in her honour.

She's really hot, too.

YOU AIN'T NEVER LIED YET, ANN COULTER.

http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=feminazis
I am in love with this community. Actually, no, I'm not, because I am a closet misogynist who loathes 98% of all womankind but I seriously have a huge crush on Valarie Solonas. Sweet Jesus, she was so awesome. While I'm on the subject of man-eating feminists, if you've never read this piece of brilliant work then you probably should.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to write my S.C.U.W. and S.C.U.N.(Society for Cutting Up Women and Negroes) manifesto.

[	Tags	|	livejournal entertainment guide, movie, plz marry me wolfman, webcomic	]
[	couer	|	Magnus says: "Summer's Here"	]
[	musique	|	King of Spain by Moxy Früvous	]

I was planning on making an entire film series on the history of '90s Britpop, but I'm not familiar with Suede and I don't know much about Menswear. I had to settle on Jarvis Cocker, Oasis, and Keane instead.
Jarvis Cocker And Snoop Doggy Dogg In Love
The Brothers Gallagher
"Keane" On Coldplay
This wouldn't have been possible without kyliooo. I thank her, God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit.

So I'm thinking about Wolfman and I say to myself, "Wolfman. Wolf... Patrick Wolf!" A natural train of thought, right? Then that train of thought continued into combining Patrick Wolf and Wolfman to make the most amazingly glorious person in the history of the world. His name would be something like WolfPatrickMan. And now I am crying. There are tears of joy running down my face at the prospect of this. Oh god. I had to create a picture to commemorate such a wondrous concept.
( Glory abounds )

( Webcomics galore that are not furry animal porn )

[	Tags	|	"high faggotry", gay gay gay, lol @ homosexuality	]
[	couer	|	impressed, among other things	]
[	musique	|	The CN Tower Belongs To The Dead by Final Fantasy	]

I don't care for this picture because it's bringing negative attention to my future profession as a prostitute/stripper but in honour of Pride... week? Month? I'm bringing the best the internets has to offer in homophobia. Ladies and Gents, you're in for a treat.

http://www.bringdown.com/issue6/fagdogs/fagdogs.html  LOL @ those homos and their dogs. Actually, that "Fags and Their Dogs" picture had me chuckling for real. I should print that out and stick it on my wall for good rememberings or something.

I thought www.godhatesfags.com was all sunshine and roses at first. I was snickering at the awesome of pictures of the upside down American flags and the little six year olds holding signs that read "GAWD HATE FAGS AIDS KILLS GAYS DED CASTRATE HOMOS NOW!!!!!" Good times, until I read their "facts" on homosexuality and general gay-dom. Then I threw up, but because I'm attracted to trauma I continued browsing until I stumbled on their memorial for Diane Whipple. There's a sound bite of a woman screaming that freaked me out to such a extent that I dreamt a herd of homophobes armed with needles filled with AIDS were chasing me. They were attempting to inject me so they could drag me off to hell. I had this nightmare for two days straight. I hate this world. :-)

This site is just depressing. I'm imagining a world where I get bludgeoned or incinerated for standing next to a gay man. Oh wait, that sort of already happened.

This site wins the internets for BEST HOMOPHOBIA EVER, AWESOME COMICS, and MOST EFFECTIVE EMETIC. God delivering a thunderous backhand slap called AIDS? That made my night. Thank you White Aryans. You RAWKxCORE and I sincerely mean that. Most importantly, I hate black people. I hate them a lot.

All of this is getting me nostalgic for old-school Bravo TV. They very first movie I watched on that network was Ma Vie En Rose during their Gay Pride Week film festival. Oh dear god, that movie was beautiful. And it's been love ever since until it all went downhill when NBC bought the network out and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy became ubiquitous, occasionally doubling up as a national symbol for not only America, but meterosexuals everywhere including fashion model David Beckham.

I meant football player David Beckham.

[	couer	|	My Icon Is The Essence of LJ	]
[	musique	|	Sunshower by Fantastic Plastic Machine	]

I know NOTHING about Oasis. I was first introduced to them on Celebrity Death Match on MTV (good times, that show) back in the mid to late '90s. Up until a few months ago I didn't even know their names, and now that I do, I still can't tell who's who. I am at the point where I think Oasis only consists of two people: Liam and Noel.

Because I live on the internets where everyone is familiar with their lasting legacy, I felt it proper to do a little research myself. You know, download a couple of songs, do some searching on LJ and Google.com

And because the internets is just chock full of surprises, much like a Christmas tree surrounded by presents or the trash they used to serve in the cafeteria at school (THERE WAS BLUE MOLD ON MY COOKIE MISSISSAUGA GODDAMN IT) I found some interesting material. Mainly this:

This may be old news to a lot of you Oasis fans, but I died a little inside because this is the greatest. I can't even begin to comprehend it. This is photoshopped, right?

Oh wait, what am I going on about? I love incest. Yay. If I keep telling myself this maybe I will regain some of my will to live.

[	couer	|	tabula rasa, much?	]
[	musique	|	Lekar Ham Diwana Dil by Asha Bhosle & Kishore Kumar	]

Today is all and every meme day on my LJ. Stop the madness. Just stop the madness.

For my baby's momma tropicalia89 :

List your current six favorite songs, then pick six other people that have to do the same.

01. Ninja High School - It's All Right To Fight (Canadians make the best music.)
02. Technova - I Could Have Sex (It's Vaginal "My name is Vaginal Davis and I ain't nuthin' but a retarded whore!" Davis. Any future spouse of Jamie Stewart becomes a future spouse of mine by default.)
03. Turd Ferguson - Alan Cumming (This one comes with a picture.)
04. Sparks - Rhythm Thief (You'll never get it back. You'll never get it back. This is because the Rhythm Thief's got it, so you'll never get it back. What does he have, you ask? Your muthatrucking virginity.)
05. Scandalnavia - First Coffee (For future reference, when attempting alcohol poisoning, it's first coffee, then alcohol.)
06. Knock Up The Dog - Confessions of a Coklieite (Chad Coklie You Know Part II) (Also, people from Ohio make the best music. kyliooo, does your brother and co. have the lyrics?)

Six (random) people:

kyliooo

anniversaire

nyx03

dirtythings

theorems

cutewhensedated

I’m doing this for Lorra and everyone else who ever had a little dream in their head and a song in their heart. Stupid LJ virus-memes messing up my journal. It distracts from the more important things like how I spent my day shelling peas for five cents an hour.

( Never again am I doing this. )

I don’t understand how you people managed to fill this survey out completely. I was dying half way through it. Couldn’t even finish the last batch of questions. Livejournal, I hate you for this one.

[	couer	|	i'm going to eat your children	]
[	musique	|	Thé à la Menthe by Nikkfurie de La Caution	]

Now that I'm finished with high school I can finally get some work done.

I'd like to take the time today to honour important men of our generations who have been bringing the best of the interwebs since the birth of Our Lord Bill Gates in 1992.

Don King

Nick Nolte James Brown on a Good Hair Day vs a Bad Hair Day

I'd like to think the hand that is reaching out to wipe the sweat off the hardest working man in politics is that of Jesus. God bless you, Al Sharpton.

WAY TO GO INTERNETS c/o 2005

Oh god. Mila Kay aka cutelil_hamster  is the absolute world's greatest. I sort of died a little (note: a whole lot) from happiness when I read this poem.

THIS GOES OUT TO MAINLY... tropicalia89. Come to think of it, beth_gr_steve could learn a thing or to from this as well. Macdonalds trying to break a brother down damn yo.

You know, for years, I couldn't understand why people larger than me could wear shirts that exposed their stomachs. I'm relatively slim, and yet I've yet to wear anything that exposes my stomach. It hit me while idly watching "Pimp My Ride".

I have a pot belly.

You can't see it but I am dying from laughter at this realization.

Most importantly, I know a lot of you are masters at web designing and life in general, so I'm wondering if any of you could teach me some basics or point me to some proper beginners tutorials. I'm trying to become somewhat semi-self-efficient (please note the alliteration in that last part of that sentence) and not be all "CAN SOMEONE MAKE ME A LAYOUT PLEASE" because I've a feeling I'd actually enjoy web/graphic design. Domo arigato.

[	couer	|	how do I correct my stupidity?	]
[	musique	|	A Strangely Isolated Place by Ulrich Schnauss	]

Wikipedia is what makes the internets worth having.

My particular favorites:

I'm printing them out and sticking them up on my bedroom walls.

( Aww SKEET SKEET motherfucker! )

Today's meme: Tell me what your username means and how you chose it.

Today's meme part two: TEL MEE ANONYMOUSLY WOT U THINK OF MEE. I want some quality trash-talking going down in here.

Today's meme part two point five: I hate memes. Explain to me why I am subjecting my journal entries to them.

What I'm listening to:

• Wind In Da Wires by Patrick "stop making me cry, you bastard" Wolfe
• Hjasd56ad Hammasa6dar (BOOM BOOM BOOM) by Sigur "stop making me cry, you bastards" Rós
• This song NEVER fails to MAKE ME CRY. Wait I meant, Never Let Me Down by De-PEACH-e(PIE Á LA) Mode

Okay, I have to get off the internets again because daddy's going to beat me if I don't stop talking to those darn child molesters and paedophiles online (THIS MEANS YOU, BILL KAMAL).

[	couer	|	amazed	]
[	musique	|	The Childcatcher by Patrick Wolf	]

From the most brilliant Patrick Wolf interview ever. It’s like reading my entire life story… if I was a 20 year-old musician from England:

"There's been this thing over the last year in London, this electroclash thing which really freaked me out. Dandyism is all surface. Who cares about the content - which I find evil? It's like Hitler, I just hate it. Things go around in history - it's like circles, and I'm really freaked out this thing is happening, and people pick fights with you because you're the opposite of that. They know that you are like 90% content and they're just an empty vessel so they start fighting with you."

(Oh Patrick, sweetheart, the entire world is not brimming with meaning waiting to be discovered. Sometimes what's on the surface is all there is, and it's nothing to loathe, really. Try finding some meaning in that, eh?)

Patrick Wolf and I are going to run off to a cabin in the woods. He'll garden and sing Empress to me while I paint. You can find us in London, England or Paris, France until I get sick of living “dans la forêt” and run back to the city (and consequently into the arms of  Murdoc or Casey Spooner, whoever will have me first).

The Childcatcher
Empress

[	couer	|	damn internets	]
[	musique	|	Stomp by Kirk Franklin and God's Property	]

I'm ridiculously cruel when I'm bored. Let this be a lesson to you all: Always keep me entertain, least I run off to eat your children for amusement. Wouldn't even be all that amusing really, they'd probably taste awful.

I rented Jens Bjornboe's "The Powderhouse" and finally got around to reading it. Gave it to Blake to read during French class a while back. He liked the bit where the French were applauded for figuring out some torture device that attached to both your nose and genitals. I'm reading Dennis Cooper again. The man has a BRILLIANT command of adjective/noun relations. Example: "His ass was impeccable."

Bloody genius.

I read Maurice, Giovanni's Room and Peter too. After laughing for about 5 minutes at the title of the last one and 20 minutes at the actually book, I cried*. Then got mad, and then cried some more. Came to the conclusion I might as well be a gay man. My sex life certainly reads like one. 

So, to counteract, I spent the day browsing the long list of LJ neo-Nazis. It's was... I don't know, enlightening to read about how much snow was falling outside and how the computer was finally working and the weekend's here so they were going to get fucked on some 40 oz and RAWK OUT TO SOME DEATH METAL FUCK YEAH!!!!!! and Посмотрел сегодня "Хороший, плохой, злой" Серджио Леоне (с Иствудом), etc.

P.S. Nazis are people too. Don't EVER let anyone tell you otherwise.
P.S.S. Scratch that. Nazi girls aren't human. The men are gorgeous Greek gods. I still stand by my plans to marry one. It'll be awesome for about 10 seconds and then he'll shoot/kill me for being black. That bit won't be fun. Might have to file for divorce after that.

Also, I read this and my heart filled with love, my eyes with tears. She's that profound. http://www.livejournal.com/users/pillarsofrome/58374.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pillarsofrome/49150.html
She's inspiration for us all and I wish to dedicate my life to her.

*I didn’t actually cry, you know. It's was metaphorical, the crying. Metaphorical as in, I laughed harder. I've a headache. I'm going to round off the perfect fascist filled evening with some quality music courtesy of Death In June.

[	couer	|	FUCK YOU CRACKA!	]
[	musique	|	There's No Other Way by Blur	]

I do this junk for a living.

Looks like I'm going to the Mindless Self Indulgence gig, Lorra, so "BABY I GOT YOUR MONEY, DON'T YOU WORRY" (R.I.P. Ol' Dirty Bastard). For any of you who don't know what that's about it means I will be heading downtown Ft. Lauderdale to make out with ( this guy ) who is responsible for these amazing lyrics. I'm not being facetious when I say that.

I was told, unfortunately, that he only makes out with guys at concerts. If that's the case I will set up an elaborate plot in which I draw a face, complete with mustache and sideburns on a paper bag and place said bag over my head, therefore assuring him that I am indeed a part of the male species and getting about 345 unknown STDs transferred from his mouth to mine. Yeah!

All in all, it's guaranteed to be wonderful times.

[	couer	|	I don't sleep	]
[	musique	|	Drugs Work by System 01	]

When someone gives you drugs what are you going to tell them?!

( Well? )

I’ve been on a philosophical kick as of late. Reading Jens Bjørneboe, Kierkegaard’s in my lap as I type, and Sartre and the ever obvious Nietzsche are making their way from the library to the comfort of my own house.

It's such a noble endeavor to examine and understand my life... as oppose to actually living it.

MP3s that are currently making my life.

Daffyd - The Only Gay In This Village
Excerpt: "I couldn't possibly get on a bus. I'm gay.

Sjakie En De Chocoladefabriek - Oompa Loompa Remix
Trust Finland to come up with the trippest remix to a bunch of Oompa Lumpas singing.

The Last Poets - Niggers Are Scared of Revolution
This entire song is a FACT OF LIFE!

[	couer	|	idle hands...	]
[	musique	|	Peter Frampton Must Die by I Hate You When You're Pregnant	]

It is 2:00 in the morning. I've only completed two paintings. Mrs. Porco will have my head.

( This entry will be an experiment in having an entire LJ conversation with myself. )

[	couer	|	Dorkmiester Dork	]
[	musique	|	Army of Hemaphrodites by Fuck... I'm Dead	]

In a couple of days, I'll be subject to arrest and jail time for paedophilia. I will be eligible to buy all the junk they sell on the Home Shopping Channel. I will be able to legally consume alcohol in every country except the one I live in. I will also be eligible to visit a strip club, which is lovely because that's where I'll be working soon enough. In case you've yet to experience it, these, dear ladies and gents, are the joys of turning 18.

And THESE are the people who are single-handedly responsible for making my life by sending my penniless self to prom and throwing a suprise party.

Mrs. Porco's AP art class (SHOUT OUT!) and Co. are 30,380,954,647,473,838,914 kinds of awesome and I love them all. Seriously. This is a fact of life and not up for dispute. So, arigato, merci, gracias, and thanks!

Having said that:

You know something else? I miss being a baby. Like, an actually, drooling, 2 year old, babbling idiot. I was sexy and I looked like I was on crack so life (em)must have been good back then.

[	couer	|	I fail at life.	]
[	musique	|	Take 5 by Dave Brubeck	]

Could someone explain to me what the fuck is this?!
Xiu Xiu - Support Our Troops (Black Angels OH)

Jamie Stewart, you creepy fucking bastard. You utter creep.

Oh fuck it, I adore him. I'm desperate to sleep with him. I should not be so turned on by this song and the fact that it does makes me feel extremely dirty.

Jamie, plz have my children, kthnx.

Hold on, one more track for all of you who haven't heard it yet: I Love The Valley OH!

Xiu Xiu. Music to slit your wrists to.

[	couer	|	The usual	]
[	musique	|	My Week Beats Your Year by Telefon Tel Aviv	]

I've just seen Coffee and Cigarettes. The best sketch? The one with Steve Coogan and Alfred Molina where a girl name Katy asks Steve for an autograph to which he replies "What Katy Did Next." He was the reason I rented that movie in the first place and the man didn't disappoint.

Steve Coogan, I adore you.

If I haven't been commenting on my f-list it's because I'm up to me ears in college forms and papers. Where am I heading, you ask? Harvard, or Yale, or New York University, or Columbia or something equally illustrious?

No, Broward Community College. This is the result of high aspirations and dedication. 6 honor classes and 7 Advance Placement classes just so I can bust my butt into getting into a low-rate community college. What the fuck's wrong with me? That's a rhetorical question, you understand. It's the fear of succeeding. I don't even WANT to go to college. In all seriousness, I was considering a career as a small time drug dealer with a bit of stripping on the side. Or vice versa. You know, making good money and giving back to the community and what not. But people refuse to let me fail in peace.

And so, Broward Community College it is. Then I'll be transferring to Ontario College of Art and Design in Canada where the faculty will look at my artwork and tell me, "This doesn't show me that you know how to actually draw."

To which I'll reply "Your momma, bitch."

( Tastelss Humour Time )

[	couer	|	a bit crushed	]
[	musique	|	Gryffindor Rocks by Harry and The Potters	]

Pour ma chère Lorra,

http://www.livejournal.com/community/nonuglylesbians/1145058.html#cutid1

Please explain this to me because I don't understand.

And because I had to go through that:

Dear god, how I love her.

[	couer	|	extremely guilty	]
[	musique	|	Lesbian Love by Legowelt	]

[insert server keyboard mashing here] HERSHEL BLEEFELD FROM SIGNIFICANT OTHERS WAS JUST ON I LOVE THE 90s PART DEUX FOR 8.734 SECONDS! [insert more severe keyboard mashing here]

All right, I couldn’t care less about spazzing out about well buff ‘n’ fit people on my journal (with the exception of Franke Potente because she absolutely rules at life) but it has to be said, this guy is truly quality peoples. He has an excellent Jewish name. H-e-r-s-c-h-e-l. He's also hysterical and HAWTliekWHOA!!!1 to boot.

( Watch out now! Superbuff hottie at LARGE! )

And it was weird, because I glanced at the TV and thought for a split second that Lisa (the_great_moose) had suddenly cut her hair and died it black until his glorious name came up.

Man, thank the Lord for Jewish boys. Speaking of which, I need to gather up enough nerve to rent Trembling before G-d because… I apologize, I’m laughing to hard to finish this sentence. Trembling before G-d. Yeah, that movie is going to be the epitome of good times right up to the part where a poor, sweet Eastern Orthodox Jewish man or woman’s family disowns them and makes their lives a miserable hell because their fell in love with their rabbi of the same sex.

That should be about 5 minutes into the movie.

Yeah, I’m making a resolve to marry a Jewish man.

( Dear Lisa, Mike, and Co. )

[	couer	|	wary as all fuck	]
[	musique	|	Watch by Controller.Controller	]

I seriously have to address this. Rant switch on, please.

All right, the point of all this is to figure out why the fuck has everyone pegged me for a lesbian. I mean, people joke about my sexuality all the time- hell, I joke about my sexuality all the time, and I'm honestly not bothered by it. If anything, it amuses me. But when five random people come up to you in one day and ask "Do you like girls?" or "My friend asked me if you were gay," you have to wonder what kind of messages you're sending to people. I hadn't realized GAY PRIDE was stamped in gigantic rainbow letters on my brow, so would someone let me know why people have suddenly picked up the rainbow-tinted glasses when it comes to regarding me?

Actually, I do know. Well. I sometimes forget that I live in America. See, in America, if two guys touch each other for more than 10 seconds or a girl briefly pecks another girl this automatically makes them the most ultimate hardcore gay couple ever. Maybe I'm not being completely fair. I don't know, I had this idea that in Europe, people aren't like that. They don't blow things like two men giving a hug or a girl briefly kissing another girl out of proportion, but here, people cannot comprehend that friendly displays of affection does not equal "serious lesbian lover." For fuck sakes!

Sooner or later I'll have to deal with the other side of the spectrum, huh. Whatever. I'm off to watch downloaded clips of The L Word.

/rant off.

Oh, I just wanted to take the time to point out that Verne aka Mini-Me from Austin Powers is probably the cutest man I've ever laid eyes on. Especially when he's drunk. Or naked. Or copping a feel from Peter from the Brady Bunch.

Jesus, if you had any mercy, you'd blind me for life. And if you REALLY loved me, Jesus, you'd take pity and end my life after I had to put up with the newest installment of The Surreal Life.

[	couer	|	quite grumpy	]
[	musique	|	Runaway Train by Oleander	]

Okay. I am really enjoying this meme. Matter of fact, I'm enjoying it too much. This is bad for everyone involved because it means I make more worthless posts and you get spammed sky-high.

I'm too impatient to wait any longer, so, answers to the last meme:
1. Kill Hannah (Oh sweet Jesus, why?)- I Wanna Be A Kennedy
5. Hoggboy - Sorry
6. Mando Diao - Motown Blood
16. A.R.E. Weapons - Changes
I am REALLY surprise and dissappointed at 59% of my friends list for not getting #25. Seriously, there was no excuse for this one. None! Selfish Cunt - Authority Confrontation.

1. Motherfuckers wanna get with me, lay with me, love with me. kyliooo Peaches - Set It Off
2. Hair brushed and parted. dirty_things The Smiths - I Started Something I Couldn't Finish
3. Oh simple things, where have you gone? forgiveninasong Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
4. My best friend's from Poland and um, he has a beard. sequins Interpol - Roland
5. Look at her laughing like a heifer to the slaughter. yosei Brian Eno/Venus In Furs - Baby's On Fire
6. Stick my body in the sun and help to get rid of the white tan.
7. The doctor waved the magic wand and he was alive again. beth_gr_steve Special Needs - Motorbikin'
8. And my talent only goes as far as to annoy, I'm on my way. dirty_things The Hives - Main Offender
9. Let’s drink to the military. eat_your_cancer Metric - Succexy
10. Everybody keeps on talking about it, Nobody's getting it done. kyliooo LCD Soundsystem - Yeah (Stupid Version)
11. Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more. yosei dirty_things Haddaway - What Is Love?
12. And a message coming from my eyes says leave it alone. yosei dirty_things The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
13. Rollin' just to keep on rollin', I don't want to leave this heaven so soon. dirty_things Mark Lanegan - Methamphetamine Blues
14. What's the other side of capability?beth_gr_steve The Cribs - Song From Practice
15. You could end up with a smack in the mouth just for standing out. eat_your_cancer Pulp - Mis-Shapes
16. You paint everything in colours instead of black and white.
17. With you're incessant talking, you're becoming a pest. forgiveninasong Chas N Dave - Rabbit
18. I got my head done when I was young. _cemetrygates Blur - Song 2
19. Gratitude, gratitude my friend. dirty_things The Others - Stan Bowles
20. In the doorway boy, she was a lipstick boy. eat_your_cancer Underworld - Born Slippy
21. I live by the river. eat_your_cancer The Clash - London's Calling
22. Now you've disappeared somewhere like outer space, you've found some better place. sequins Everything But The Girl - Missing
23. Last week she attempted suicide 16 times. dirty_things Art Brut - These Animals
24. Hasta Mañana, always be mine. forgiveninasong Spice Girls - Viva Forever
25. We've been playing Russian Roulette for far too long. forgiveninasong The Libertines - Breck Road Lover

Current DVD playlist:
I've been watching Hedwig and The Angry Inch again. Dear God, I absolutely adore that movie. It's inspired me to become a drag queen. Forget The Rocky Horror Picture Show, this movie slays and slashes the other to death. I hate Rocky Horror. I really hate Rocky Horror. Hedwig is the new Rocky, all right?

[	couer	|	Not stabilized	]
[	musique	|	Horse and Carriage by Cam'ron feat. Mase	]

I'd just like to dedicate this entry to the wonderful and blessed genre that is rap music. Whenever I feel low, humiliated and almost suicidal after being molested and practically rape by a bunch people posing as doctors and nurses, I can listen to Bizzy Bone's Angels With Dirty Faces, Jay-Z's Nigga What Nigga Who or Splash Waterfalls by Ludacris and everything is all right in the world. HOT FREAKS!

Somethingawful.com seems to agree with me. The only difference is where they're being facetious, I am being sincere. Rap music has saved my life and what little dignity I have left. I thank it for that.

(Okay, what was up with the Guided by Voices reference?)

[	couer	|	The "Jesus Can't Save Me" mood	]
[	musique	|	Venus In Furs by The Velvet Underground	]

You know, I didn't even realize today was the last day of 2004. That's quite pathetic of me.

Well, in any case, 2004 has been a pretty insane year with the election, war, killer tsunamis and Christopher Reeves & John Peels dying. It's important that I take time to reflect upon it, so I can store it in my memories for all eternity. Alors, my 2004 can best be summed up as:

( Yay Excitement )

Edit: Okay, you guys just got a glimpse of how much I'm out of the time loop. This is the second to last day of 2004, right? Not that I'd know. The calander's some sort of heathen foreign object that means nothing to me.

Edit Part II: I might not live to see 2005. Seriously. The fact that I am even LISTENING to this trash is blatent evidence of my desperation.

( Jonestown Tea )

[	couer	|	As Blur put it: Whoo-hoo!	]
[	musique	|	Shoot Freak by Gay Dad	]

I dreamt last night that I was having a discussion about Blur with someone on LiveJournal. The name never appeared in my dream, but it must have been kyliooo, because... well, really, who else would talk about Blur in my dream?

( Oh! You Dirty Things Leave Your Addresses Here! )</font>

( Hilarious and slightly offensive picture du jour. )

( I've nothing witty to say for this section of my entry, okay?! )

[	couer	|	in the mood for a heart-attack	]
[	musique	|	Chick Habit by April March	]

This is pretty much an all-encompassing metaphor for my life.

( Obsession number 5487 )

I’m MondeFrigide on Audioscrobbler.com. You’ve license to add me, if you wish.</font>

[	couer	|	traumatized for life	]
[	musique	|	How Does It Make You Feel by Air	]

I gotta tell you, ladies and gents, there's nothing like spending quality time watching graphic images of male and female genitalia, men making out with each other, threesomes, severe self-mutilation, stories of sexual abuse, descriptions of 10-year-olds having orgasms, and Peter Sarsgaard's cock swinging about everywhere with the man who is 50% responsible for your existence.

Yeah, in other words, I finally got to see Kinsey. Thanks, Dad.

I am currently watching The Center of The World to sedate my hunger for Sarsgaard. Saying the word 'clit' while doing an impersonation of Elvis? Strippers sticking lollipops in orifices other than their mouths? Fire and Ice?! (Look that last one up, because I can't be arsed to explain it here.) Oh, the things I put up with just to watch this man... sheesh.

Good night and sweet dreams. I mean, one of us has to have them, and I'm pretty sure my "dreams" will be filled with dear Peter Sarsgaard getting rimmed, so it'll have to be you.

[	couer	|	suffering erectile dysfunction	]
[	musique	|	Let Go by Frou Frou	]

Oh dear. I've lost my mojo yet again.

I jokingly called Craig Nicholls of The Vines autistic in a review I posted a few entries ago.

He actually is. I had no idea. I felt terrifically guilty for a few seconds, laughed uproariously, and then felt terrifically guilty again.

I've been reduce to a bunch of lists because classes have zapped my sparkling personality to a dull thud.

( The sum of all my parts are a few pages and a screen. )

I dedicate this entry to Peter Sarsgaard. Forget Garden State, I'm not putting up with Natalie Portman and her epileptic seizures just to watch him. It’s Kinsey all the way, baby. But in all seriousness, no one can make millions, snort crystal meth, rape, murder, dig graves, die of radiation burns, make out with other men or act homophobic like Peter Sarsgaard can. No one.

( Ode to Peter Sarsgaard )

Some colourful quality communities for you to visit:

( This is the sort of thing that makes me adore the internet. )

[	couer	|	peevish	]
[	musique	|	The Sideboard Song by Chas & Dave	]

In any case Yann Tiersen is a right freakin' genius. Of course my love for Zazie will never fade, but Yann's my brilliant new French love. You too could be rolling around the floor in ecstasy, withering, frothing at the mouth and screaming "THIS MAN IS GOD ON ACCORDION" and "THE BABY JESUS OF VIOLIN PLAYERS IS AMONG US AND HIS NAME IS YANN TIERSEN".

( The heavenly face of the man responsible for the Amélie soundtrack… )

I post weird poetic stuff no one understands

why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
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You knows it.

[	couer	|	homicidal to the nth degree	]
[	musique	|	Man Research by Gorillaz	]

I feel extremely xenophobic today.

Basically, I hate you all and my layout will now reflect that. Enjoy, you miscreants.

As much as I loathe to write, I must admit that some magical moments can come from writing an essay. I present to you actual analogies and metaphors found in high school writing assignments.

( Absolute comedy of the highest order. )

What else do I tell thee today, LiveJournal?

That I was responsible for dear maryfinsunshine being called a lesbian? That I spent three hours in my English class completing an assignment in which I drew lovely Ms. Evans and various other stick figures being attacked and sexually dominated by poetry? That playdoh smells like cake mix? That two boys fought in art class, blood flew everywhere and it was quite entertaining? That Mike and I had some quality role-playing cyber paper sex in Psychology?

Right.

( A summary of childish musical politics. )